


Just breathe

by LucidLoss



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:48:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucidLoss/pseuds/LucidLoss
Summary: Dream's never been selfish, Techno wants him to be- they're toxic for each other here your honor
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 285





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Haha I fucking hate this but I lost sleep over it and binged all of it in 2 days compared to my 2000 chapter word updates per 2 months and then I make this garbage fire 😃 anyways- I blame Grey. The end got ao fucking muddled my dudes. This was pure raw energy. That I am for some reason spitting into the world- anyways- may a non-existent smite or strike me down.

Dream had never been too needy. 

No, he hardly ever asked for anything. He'd always been firm in his independence, believing it should always be him who helped others. He had many selfless and self-destructive tendencies, he was well aware of them all. 

He could list every flaw he had. He was brazen, outspoken, overly eccentric, and got stuck in his head far too much. He says things he doesn't mean, he speaks out without thinking- everyone has always been sure to remind him of every little fallacy he held. 

It was tiring, being so self aware at times. No matter how you slice it for yourself, you always come to the same conclusion: you're an awful person who deserves the worst. You become so acutely aware of every little mistake, every fault put under a microscopic lense for you to study constantly.

Everyone around you is so willing to move with the hustle and bustle while you're left behind to stumble and be dragged into the pool of failures and self deficiency. Any attempt to come up to the surface for air would only end with you choking and falling further while your vision blurs and your chest begins to ache.

You're metaphorically drowning, and you don't know how to come up from the waves.

Pulled from his musings and inner bleak thoughts by Patches jumping up on his stomach and kneading into his chest, her purrs loud as she reminds Dream of her presence and need for food. Right. He had a responsibility in the form of a fur ball who got sassy whenever she wasn't tended to immediately.

"Alright girl… I'm getting up, be patient with me." He murmurs groggily, the husky quality to his morning voice making him smile. Ever since people had complimented it, he couldn't help but like it too. It was a quality people had taken an immediate liking to. It was a natural part of him. 

Yawning quietly, he managed to push himself up out of his all too comfortable bed and shuffle towards the kitchen to pour some cat food into Patches bowl. She'd be alright for the day now, he could leave, reluctant as he is.

He didn't feel the need to socialize today, he'd much rather stay home cuddling Patches while watching youtube. Keeping the world shut out. The blinds would be shut, literally and metaphorically. He could remain in his own world and revel in the comforts that came from it.

But it's never that easy. Not for him at least, he could never catch a break. Tommy had been able to force him into a one-sided promise and have him come for an in-person multi-person project. As far as he knew it would only be Phil, Wilbur, and Tubbo.

Three very easily agreeable people. Phil was rather mellow, easy to talk to, and the responsible one. Tubbo and Tommy tended to create a chaos of their own, Wilbur's commanding presence only amplifying that mayhem. They were a force of their own all together, something he envied. He wanted what they had. He craved the closeness they could share with each other so easily.

They saw each other's flaws- but the difference between them and him- they were willing to forgive and help each other grow. Or celebrate them. They thrived together.

It often left him disoriented, if he were being honest. The fact they were willing to do this all for each other- and still extend the same kindness to those around them? Wild.

His phone rings on the counter, right where he left it, Tommy's discord ID lighting up the screen almost ominously. No doubt the child was making sure he was up and wanted to remind him he has to come to today's recording session.

He didn't see why the other always felt the need to check in like this, Dream was never one for flaking. He always tried to be prompt and present whenever it was asked of him, whether he be willing or not.

Clicking the confirm call button, Dream's ears are immediately assaulted by the shuffling of nylon and the clinks of metal. An obnoxious voice booms out of his phone's speaker, the British accent of one Tommyinnit greeting him loudly. "EYYYY! DREAM, MY FRIEND, WHERE ARE YOU?" The voice on the other line becomes softer abruptly, a far more relaxed voice questioning him quietly "Session is starting in an hour and half, you're usually always early to these kinds of things."

Ah. He's concerned.

"Mhm… Sorry Tommy, woke up late. Just give me thirty minutes and I'll be there. Sorry for the hold-up," he pauses, leaning up against his marble countertops. "You have Phil, Tubbo, and Wilbur there to help you set up, right?" He questions worriedly, remembering he was the one usually there to help Wilbur with the cameras and audio recording devices.

Tommy laughed at his tired voice on the other end, wind blowing into his mic loudly. "Don't worry big man! We got a special surprise guest who agreed to come on for this one occasion, so we can just force him to help us with anything you'd usually do."

Dream's stomach drops at that, an uncomfortable feeling twisting in his gut. Surprise guest…? What? He hadn't been informed of anybody else joining them--

"Don't worry big man. You two haven't met before, sure, but he's like Philza with a slice of sarcasm and fancy English bullshit." The younger exclaims on the other end, snickering when he hears Dream's weary sigh.

"As much as I do not appreciate this being suddenly sprung on me, I will still attend this session. But please Tommy, even if you think I will get along with somebody, for future reference, don't surprise me like this again." Dream mutters quietly as he heads back to his room to pull out his usual outfit for the day. A black turtleneck with black skinny jeans coupled with his signature hoodie and mask. How creative of him.

The other remains quiet for a moment and Dream bites his lip as he pulls a shirt over his head haphazardly, hoping he hasn't made the younger feel bad. He doesn't want to offend or hurt Tommy's feelings, but limits are something he held very dearly. It was the only thing he had kept for himself with no exceptions. 

"Sorry big man, I'll be sure to ask you in advance next time. Sorry- thanks for not skipping out because of this though. Everyone is looking forward to your presence especially." The Brit admits sheepishly, a nervous edge in his tone.

"Of course Tommy, I would never miss out on the chance to completely own you in some jipped pvp mod."

"Whatever you say, bitch."

"Bring it on, child."

The call was suddenly hung up, and Dream smiles lazily. Even if this other person happened to be an asshole, he knew he could have fun with all of the others regardless.

Today will be okay. He will be okay. Meeting a new person will be okay.

He snatches his keys from the wall, phone in his pocket, wallet in the other. That's all he should need for a day out with the others.

Steeling his nerves, exhaling slowly, Dream manages to step outside and lock his door. 

He's got this. He's okay. It's just another day of socializing and being open and vulnerable for others.

___________________________________

By the time he reaches the studio, he catches a glimpse of the equipment in the front, two boys- a blonde and brunette- messing around and chasing each other around cameras and tripods. 

A warm smile blooms on his face as he snuck up around the greenscreens, waiting for them to come around the bend so he could spring out and snatch them both up. 

A squeal and scream ring next to his ears after he pounces and grabs both of them carrying both as if they were a sack of potatoes on his shoulders. 

"Dream!"  
"DREAAAM!!!"

A kettle wheeze brings him to a slowed stop, both boys managing to wriggle their way free of his weak grasp as he laughed, Tommy yelling discernible obscene words in his general direction.

"Nice to see you too Tommy. Same to you, Tubbo." He chuckles warmly, smiling underneath the familiar comfort and safety of his mask. He knew and loved these kids a lot, they were like brothers to him, but opening up is hard. Getting close and being sentimental with others was hard.

"Trust me, we know big man. I'm great, women love me, men want to be me- of course you're happy to see me!" Tommy's boisterous personality he used on and off camera was coming through, likely psyching himself up for the video. Dream knew better, the younger blonde wasn't an egomaniac when he was being serious around friends. 

In a way, it made him feel good to know these people trusted him enough to express themselves so completely in front of him. They held enough confidence in him to know he would never judge them for who they are. That he would love and treasure them as his dearest friends no matter what. 

The fact none of them had abused this love either, it melted his heart. Something people would see as the bare minimum, sure, but Dream had never been treated to that supposed minimum. So to be able to experience that and more now- it filled an empty space that had made itself ever so present in his soul. A temporary euphoria that he could revel in, he wouldn't be alone for this time. 

Tubbo pulls him along, vaguely aware of how his spaced moments worked. He would be present and in the right mindset most of the time, but he also had an issue of being stuck in his own head. The brunette was always considerate and gentle with him when it came to these times… what had he done to deserve it? Sure, he had a tendency to spoil and cater his friends wants and needs-

But he really didn't do anything for them to just give their time and effort so freely. He doesn't think he could ever understand.

"Tommy wants to incorporate some PvP into today's mod video- so he decided to invite the surprise guest. You should know of him, at the very least big man. He's pretty well known, and is a long time friend of Philza! Pretty sure he's the only reason the mystery guest agreed to come today. I don't think he knows there is supposed to be another surprise guest- Tommy may have clued him in, but we are supposed to keep it secret." Tubbo takes a short breath, smiling feebly at Dream's slightly dazed expression. 

"I'm sure he knows of you too big man- you're pretty popular for parkour and the...manhunts you used to do. Even if you haven't come out in a while, you still hold the fastest records!" The teen exclaims, a hint of pride for his older friend's accomplishments evident in his tone. 

Dream can see right through him. "Tubbs, it'll be okay. I'm sure if you all trust this person enough, then I'll be okay too. I'm not completely helpless when it comes to people." He jokes, fidgety hands coming up to pat Tubbo's head softly.

"I know Dream, but Tommy should have let you know he invited someone else for a session. He… he knows how bad you can get. How hard it is for you to come out here in the first place. It's unfair to expect you to simply cope so suddenly." The brunette remarks with a frown, guiding Dream to the waiting field.

"It's okay Tubbs, I already told him I wouldn't be okay with this in the future. I don't think he quite grasps how it feels. I don't blame him. Go easy on him."

Tubbo sighs, nodding. "You're way too nice to us."

"I don't think so, but thanks anyways. Now- where is everyone?" Dream tugs up his hoodie sleeves, perking up when he sees four figures approaching at the end of the field. Tommy and Wilbur were in front of Phil and a very tall pink haired man, shoving each other back and forth in an act of horseplay.

"Tubbo…"

"Yeah…?"

"Is that fucking Technoblade next to Philza?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Dream replies dully, eyes lidding as he stared forward. His demeanor became hunched as he tried to curl in on himself. Muted internal panic, he realized. He wasn't processing it right now, but it would likely give him whiplash when it hits him with a vengeance later on. It always does.

This man was Dream's idol. The person he always looked up to- hell, the man Dream has always aspired to be great as. He wanted to be known just as well as Technoblade. He's one of the main reasons Dream ever even considered showing his skills.

'Don't spiral, don't spiral, you can't do this right now. You can't afford to spiral in front of Technoblade.' He grabs at his sleeves harshly, watching as the four gradually get closer and closer. The tension in his posture is not lost on Tubbo, clearly, because he can feel a comforting hand patting his back gently. 

"You're okay." The other utters out before the four are within earshot and right in front of them. Dream feels his thoughts go all fuzzy, the distant buzz of white noise accompanying the stray thought about the environment and the features of those around him.

A deep monotone voice cuts his thoughts off haltingly, ringing in his ears so very pleasantly with one simple greeting. "Hallo."

Dream looks up, feeling up to his face to gently hold his hands against the reassuring porcelain.

Remember. 

You're okay. 

He squares his shoulders, spine set straight. "Hello" he responds back shortly, one hand coming down to greet Technoblade with a wave.

They both hold each other's gazes, even with Dream's mask hiding his features. The pinkette furrows his eyebrows, looking Dream up and down with bored eyes. It chills him, it feels like the man knew how filthy Dream felt. Maybe he could see right through Dream. Maybe he knew just how dirty he was. How scummy he is. Maybe he knew of the monster that nestled and reared its head straight in his soul-

"You're Dream, the speedrunner right? Pretty popular in the parkour genre?" The pig hybrid queries, head tilted slightly.

"That would be me." 

"You haven't done any shows or events in a while. I was under the impression you no longer wanted to be in the limelight." The words hold no malice, in fact, they're quite casual- but Dream can't help but internally flinch. He almost feels disappointed in himself with that statement. It felt like he had let the other down, even if he no doubt didn't care or really watch Dream's career. Probably had just heard of him through the grapevine. 

"Ah… yeah. I am taking a mental health break, but Tommy insisted on having me here today." Dream tilts his head over at Tommy who was whacking Wilbur over the head with a prop, giving a slight chortle at the taller's annoyed expression. "How could I say no to my favorite gremlin?" 

The taller nodded as if he understood Dream's fondness, a husky chuckle of his own escaping him. "I suppose you're right, he seems to have grown on you."

"You don't know the half of it" Dream begins to shuffle towards the others as Tommy begins to call, brandishing a stick into the air.

"Alright- Wilbur! Get the cameras! Tubbo- everyone has a mic right? What am I saying of course they do-" the blonde grins mischievously when Wilbur gives him a thumbs up, starting his intro and yelling into the open plains. He then proceeds to explain today's video is a modded power version of elemental chaos.

Basically, people would get short power-ups and strength boosts. Between the six of them, Philza and Tubbo ended up with earth abilities (sinkholes and manipulating chunks), Wilbur and Tommy had been given fire (fire resistance and flint and steel hands), Techno had ended up with water to himself (aqua affinity and ice related abilities) and Dream had air (bursts of air that could send him flying into the air and spawning in natural tornadoes). The goal was apparently to make it to the end and kill the dragon first. 

Apparently Techno and Dream had been placed alone in their own categories because they held huge advantages over the others. Techno could easily just slay them while Dream was practically made for dodging and speedrunning. It's okay. 

____________________________________

Techno had incapacitated all of the others and is now hunting Dream himself. This wasn't like the pressure from manhunts- there was a need to actually impress the other.

But it seemed his blood lust was a terrifying thing to be a target of. 

They danced around each other in the end, the cameras pinned to their fronts catching every clash of their blades. The grinding of iron on diamond (Techno had nicked it from poor Phil) was shrieky, ringing in Dream's ears as adrenaline made him head pound. 

He was being backed into a metaphorical and nearly physical corner, buckets of water stacked behind him. Any time he tried to go up with his air boosts to escape the dangers the liquid presented, he got beat down by the irritated and injured Dragon. 

"Give up Dream. I won't let you get the last few hits in, it would be best for you if you just submitted to the inevitable." The pinkette drawls monotonously, diamond sword coming down to break Dream's low durability shield into mere splinters. 

He was backed into the spilled water on the endstone, water seeped up his leg and he felt it freeze, halting any form of movement.

Techno laughs, pulling out a crossbow and finishes off the dragon while standing beside the weary blonde. "It's a shame, no one has ever given me this much problems anymore. Most people are down within seconds if it's a one on one while I'm in perfect health. Yet you held up. Great job." he praised almost mockingly, his boost running out as the water flowed back to his original state. "But you would never be enough to stop me." He finishes dramatically.

Dream shudders, head tilted downward at his feet. Ground. Endstone. Right.

He's here. 

And he… he failed. 

Techno pearls to the now opened portal to the overworld, glancing back at Dream for a moment to watch him. He stares him up and down, it feels like his stare is nearly scalding.

And then he leaves, jumping through with his pretty pink hair and perfect presence.

Leaving Dream alone to cope with his failure and thoughts.

Remember...

Remember to breathe.

He feels like he's submerged under the waves once more.

____________________________________

Dream found himself in the office building's spare showers, scrubbing at the dirt and sweat on his limbs after his mini breakdown in the end after Techno had left him. But it wasn't enough. No. He still felt filthy. Imperfect. Defective. 

His skin is reddened and raw, yet he doesn't feel the pain. No. He's far too busy trying to grapple with his symbolic loss. 

Failing to Technoblade was just further proof he'd never be good enough. He didn't have the charisma his friends had, he didn't have the professionalism and skills to keep up with the pros- where does that leave him? Hopelessly in the middle with no bridge? 

Although, maybe that's what he deserves. To not belong. To never be quite okay with himself. Always on edge, always on the precipice of losing himself all over again. Dangling his feet over a cliff that lead to nothing but an endless abyss.

He could almost appreciate the abyss. The void of nothing. At least the pain was distracting and almost comforting with its familiarity. But the void was merciless in its relentless grip on his mind. Twisting and cutthroat in its emptiness. It left him bare to his own judgement. It hurts. 

A few shower spouts over, the squeak of a knob turning makes Dream jump, practically dragging him out of his head when a long haired pig hybrid steps under the water, sculpted body leaning forward to soak his now unbraided hair. 

He was beautiful. Godly, one may say. Otherworldly, ethereal, divine in everything he is and does. From the tip of his silken locks of strawberry champagne all the way to his perfectly pedicured feet. 

It was unfair. He gets to be so perfect so effortlessly while Dream grasps at straws everyday to feel okay in his skin.

The pinkette peers over at him lazily, pupils dilating slightly as he looked up and down Dream's figure in an unreco- it was beyond Dream what the man was feeling, looking at him in such a way. 

Dream had always been on the lithe side, and while he was fairly tall for a regular human, his mere six two height was nothing next to Techno's seven eight height. 

He was tiny. Insignificant. 

Meanwhile, Techno is curious."You know, I could've sworn Tommy said he had introduced me to everyone in the company, but I think I would remember someone like you." Techno murmurs from across the wet tile flooring as he lathered his pink locks up gently, fingers massaging his scalp sensually as he declined to watch the cute blonde sharing the showers with him.

"He said these showers are hardly ever used, yet here you are." He tilts his head at the taller, unsure of how to answer him without things becoming awkward. "I'm Technoblade, and you are?"

"..." So Silence is the only answer he gives, the feeling of his own nails digging into his palms grounding him. He ruined something else.

Techno frowns, looking up directly at him, eyes seemingly searching for something. When he doesn't find it, he sighs in near relief. The next question, however, hits him like a train."Are you okay, blondie?"

Dream looks up, blond lashes lidded over weary emeralds. His eyes. One of the few things about himself he never liked to show. People said they were too expressive in the past, and so came in the mask. It covered his greatest insecurities. But he didn't have that here. 

"...Fine." He squeaks out weakly, brushing a few stray locks of blonde behind his ear as he waits for the other's reaction.

Stars were dancing in his peripheral as he saw a look of surprised realization dawn in the piglin hybrid's eyes. 

"Dream???" He can hear the other ask, an edge in his tone he can't quite identify. He doesn't care enough to stop and listen for any questions, turning his shower off quickly and retreating to the clothes locker that held a bag of extra clothes just for visits like this. He'd probably stay in one of the office's extra rooms tonight, he doesn't think he can stomach going back home. 

Patches would be okay, he shot the neighbors a text before showering. They would check up on her and feed her in the morning with the key he had in the lantern on his porch. 

"Yeah…" he trails off as he notices the other turn off his own shower, towel wrapping around their own muscular figure. 

"Wait. I have been meaning to talk to you about earlier. When I left the end it took you a lot longer than it should have to join me in the overworld. When I asked Tubbo and Tommy about it they got very quiet about it. You joined us, but you looked so tired and beaten down. Even though you had been fine and thriving moments prior. I want an explanation. Meet me in the common room in an hour. Everyone else has already gone home." 

The piglin hybrid states firmly, not waiting for Dream to reply as he went about putting his monarch inspired garb on. He opted to leave his cape and crown in his locker, leaving him with a flowy bellamy shirt and black jeans with golden embroidery. 

He was out the bathroom door before Dream could even dare to utter a response.

Remember to breathe.

He wears his mask once more.

___________________________________

Taking shaky steps into the common area, Dream is greeted by the sight of Techno lounging openly in a chair, as if he didn't care what people would think if they saw him.

"I know what you're thinking. Everyone has gone home for the day though. It's just us, ergo, you also have nothing to fear when speaking. This will stay between us." The pinkette was back to being completely monotone, an almost bored lull in his voice. 

Dream didn't like how unreadable he became. He was a blank slate. It's unfair, how does he hide himself so effortlessly? Better yet- how was Dream supposed to know if he did something wrong?

Shifting uncomfortably, Dream takes a few uneasy steps forward, placing himself in the lush leather chair directly across from Techno's. His legs remained in front of him and his palms came down to the arms of the chair to allow him something to grab onto. Something to keep him present. He owes Techno at least that. Right? Of course.

"I see. Well- you said you have questions, please ask them. I'd rather not prolong this experience any longer than need be." He tries to remain calm. To just breathe. Like always.

The pinkette tilts his head to the side, a perfectly manicured nail points to his mask. "Question one: Why continue wearing the mask around me when I have already seen your face? You've lost all anonymity and I don't see it as an intimidation factor, so why?" He questions bluntly, watching as Dream grips the couch anxiously.

"Well…" he struggles to find the words without seeming like he was searching for pity- how does one go about saying they hate every part of themself, and anything they do that is viewable to people disgusts them on such a level they feel like vomiting? The thought of people being able to look upon his misery, his feelings, his flaws-- 

"I don't like it when people look at my face. It's not a matter of anonymity." He manages to grit out carefully, fingers beginning a gentle tapping rhythm. 

Tap, tap, tap, breathe.

"We both know there is more to it than that. Dream, I want to understand what it is about you that drives everyone around you to treat you like you're treasured fragile china." The pinkette tilts his head, eyes narrowing into beady slits. "Even Phil seems concerned about your well-being. Phil never cares unless he's close to a person and he is aware it's serious."

The pinkette leans forward, legs crossed prim and properly. "Now. Dream- do not hold back. Tell me what's wrong with you. All of it. Don't try to play it down. Don't try to fool me either, I will see through it. There will be repercussions."

"I don't think it's your business, Technoblade. The only reason Phil is aware is because of the friendship that has been built over the past year and a half. He was with me through it all. You, however, I don't know. Nor are you entitled to know-"

"You hate yourself."

"...What?"

The piglin hybrid stands, taking long steps to set himself in front of Dream as he crouches down to eye level with the shorter in the chair.

"You heard me, Dream. You hate yourself. You can't stand to be in your own skin. You're stuck in it, and even then you're stuck in your own head, clawing at the walls you've put up to keep people out as you flounder. You're lost. You're nothing." 

The pinkette squeezes both of Dream's wrists, bringing them upward. "You ground yourself with your own hands constantly. You hold this posture of disgruntled self discontent when you start to drift off into space. You're disgusted by yourself. You're-" 

The pinkette is cut off by a broken sob escaping the blonde, his small frame shaking violently. Such a volatile response from so few words. He was truly pathetic.

"I know! I hate it hate it hate it hate it- I JUST WANT TO BE LOVEABLE! Why can't anything I do be right? Why does everyone else get to be okay?! Why why why!?!? I want to be good, I want to be loved, i want to be adored- for myself! I want a body that anyone could worship! I want to be the person everyone adores- " he chokes out, hands come up to fist at locks of hair, pulling roughly. 

His scalp tingles as he attempts to ground himself once more. It's not enough. It would never be enough. , thrashing in an attempt to pull his hands back. He needs to be grounded. He needed to breathe. JUST LET HIM BREATHE-

"Dream. You're okay." A gravelly voice calls, yanking him out of his spiral so quickly it leaves him reeling. 

"It's… it's not okay. If it was okay, they wouldn't have left me." He mutters, knees coming up to rest under his chin.

"Who left you Dream?"

"Everyone. George, Pandas, Bad, Ant, even mom- they were disgusted by me. But all I was doing was what everyone else did. It's me. I'm wrong. The ugly duckling-" he pauses, hands coming up to gently pet the pink hair that had fallen around him as Techno held him. "Sorry. You're here for answers. Tommy, Tubbo, Philza, and Wilbur were there for my decline in mental health. I had known them a few months prior to it happening. They… they were the only ones who stayed. They were the only ones who weren't disgusted by the mere sight or thought of me."

He hacks out an almost manic laugh, fingers threading a few locks together in a tiny braid he vaguely remembers from days of learning from Puffy- she's gone. 

"With that decline they bared witness to every little episode, all of my self-destructive habits and behaviors, and the need to purge myself in every way to be better. I became detached from the world. I never wanted to go outside. It made it so hard to breathe whenever I was around people."

Dream's arms come down to grapple at his sweater's hoodie strings, pulling back and forth to form a pattern. "I became lowkey agoraphobic, I never wanted to leave. Never wanted to see people. It terrified me to no end, the thought of having to meet and present myself to new people- it still terrifies me. Those four have been attempting to get me to come out and about for months now. It makes me feel guilty to make them so worried. They don't need to worry. That's a waste of time." 

Silence again. There were no words, just the settling of floorboards and quiet unsteady breaths.

"I see. So you really think you're that unloveable?"

Dream nods, shaking his arms slightly to let Techno know he wanted to move.

"No. You're not leaving until you know that you're loved. I don't think I can let you leave when you're in a state like this." Techno murmurs against his neck, large palms pinning Dream's hips to the cushioned chair.

A chill runs up against his spine, his breath slowing as he becomes acutely aware of the piglin hybrid's body against his, the hands keeping him down somehow comforting. He felt like he was being held lovingly. Yet he wanted more. So fucking greedy. 

"Tell me what you need, Dream. Tell me what you need me to do for you to feel loved." Techno's thumbs massaged his hip bones sensually, forcing a heady breath out of Dream.

"I want you…" Dream feels his face scrunch up, hit stomach dropping. This was utterly mortifying, admitting he needed anything. Why couldn't he just be content with other's happiness?

"I need… I need you to touch me." He begs quietly, palms coming up to cup Techno's scarred cheeks carefully. "I need to be held. I need to be wanted. I want you to want me. It's not right if you don't- could never be right. Only touch me if you are prepared to love me." He whispers against Techno's pointed ear, breathing ragged as his chest moves erratically. 

"So please… don't touch me if you pity me. I'm touch-starved. But I am not so desperate that I'd take anything because you feel bad for me. I'm not that pitiful" Dream murmurs quietly, voice cracking at the end as he pulls his hands from Techno's face. "I won't be pathetic. I refuse to." He manages to mutter, hands reaching up to carefully remove the smooth porcelain that obscured his tear-streaked face.

The pink haired hybrid stared down lazily at the broken speedrunner, calloused hands gripping at Dream's hips so very gently, a stark contrast to the aggression he was so well known for. It was a touch only two people who were on the same wavelength could share. The understanding that one is fragile. One wrong move would make them break. Shatter forever. 

There was a trust that no other relationship could reach. Entrusting your entire being to someone.

Dream is scared, if he were to be honest. He's fucking terrified to let this man he has idolized for so long see every terrible part of him. To put so much faith in the belief that he won't leave him in a pile of fragments at the end- it's like jumping off a plane when blind. 

His chin is tilted upwards , emerald gaze forced to meet a ruby head on. Techno's looking at him with silent concern.

It makes Dream want to have the floor swallow him whole. He is fine. 

"I'm okay." He knows that's what Techno needs to hear. What he wanted to know. 

"Are you sure this is what you need right now?" The piglin hybrid inquires softly, thumbs massaging Dream's hips deliciously. It's euphoria inducing. Dream could drown in that and be happy a million life-times over.

So he nods, burying his face into Techno's chest. "I need to be loved tonight. I don't want to sink away anymore." He is muffled by the other's shirt, but the underlying desperation is far too apparent.

"Alright, lay back, beloved. Let me worship your body and bring you to bliss." Techno rasps quietly, pressing Dream back into the chair. "I'm going to remove your clothing beloved, so I can praise every inch of you and show you how much you are loved." He murmurs, hands awkwardly coming down to Dream's black jeans, unbuttoning them slowly. 

Dream releases a breathy sigh, blown pupils looking down at the pinkette with adoration and desire. His idol was willing to love him. Knowing he was broken. What did he ever do to deserve this? What deity did the broken man draw the attention of to send him a blessing in the form of Technoblade?

A slap to his pale thigh makes him whimper as his attention is drawn back.

"Attention on me. You deserve every bit of this. You don't need to be strong and have walls up in front of me. Let me hold you, beloved." 

Right. Pay attention. He just needs to pay attention-

and remember to breathe.

"Yes-" he pauses, tilting his flushed face at Techno, lips pursed unsuredly. He hopes what he says will be right. "My… devoted darling. You're my dearly devoted. You are devoted to me, if only just for tonight." He rushes out yearningly, grasping at Techno's shirt roughly, knuckles going white at the iron grip. 

He doesn't ever want to let go.

But Techno grabs his smaller hands, loosening his fingers, bringing them up to brush his lips along his knuckles. "If you would allow me to love you after that, I could love you a million times more."

Dream nods, stunned how far the willing the other would go to satisfy his selfish desires.

"Now lay back down for me beloved, your dearly devoted wants to continue his prayer to this temple of a body." 

"Alright…" he whispers hoarsely, pushing himself back in the chair and splaying his legs out for the other to move as he pleased. 

Remember to breathe.

Techno parts Dream's milky legs, caressing the plush of his inner thighs. He was soft, malleable under Techno's touch. His skin felt like satin compared to Techno's rough skin.

"So pretty…" the pinkette mutters mindlessly, dipping his head down to nip appreciatively at the blonde's unmarred legs. He wanted to paint a pretty picture on this blank canvas.

The nips evolved into harsh love bites, red and purple blooming all over. Blood welled up to the surface, staining Techno's tusks. He laps it up appreciatively, listening to Dream moan headily and grasp at the leather of the couch. 

"Please-" Dream chokes on his words as Techno licks a thin stripe down the others abdomen, hands coming up to grab at the other's beautiful strawberry locks. He tugs appreciatively, drool pooling in his mouth. "Give me more please-" he begs, massaging his fingers into the other's scalp. 

Ground yourself to breathe.

"Of course, beloved." Techno replies with a cheshire grin, dipping two fingers into the other's boxers to drag them down teasingly. "What more can I do for you beloved? How do you want your dearly devoted to worship you?" The piglin hybrid purrs, resting his head on the other's knee, waiting for the words he wants to hear.

Dream grapples with his inner thoughts, biting his lip harshly as he stays quiet. He didn't want to be a joke. But he also needs it. Craves it all. The other had already driven him crazy with a few expressions and lingering touches. 

"I need you to touch me. To give everything you're willing to. Give me it all. Show me all that you're worth. I want your lips on every part of me, want to feel your hands on my skin, need your eyes on me." He clasps a hand over his mouth shortly after, afraid of what the other might think of his greed. 

Instead, a hand starts to stroke him, Techno leaning his pretty head down to circle his tongue around the head of Dream's member, peppering small kisses between each lick as the other practically trembles beneath him.

The blonde is shaking as a hot tingling pressure climbs up his spine, making him replace his palms in Techno's champagne pink locks, tugging recklessly as the other continues to pleasure him.

Techno, ever the over-achiever, dips his head down further and takes Dream all the way to the back of his throat, wrapping his tongue around the other's member to incite the other to tug his hair without thought. 

Techno can't help but smile as he hears Dream whine thoughtlessly, little pleas of utter gibberish spilling from his lips. His beloved may have been broken, but his cracks can be fixed with glimmering gold. Kintsugi. His beautiful piece of kintsugi. 

"Techno...God, please, I'm begging you. I need you to just-" the flushed blonde tugs the pinkette's head up, looking firmly into his eyes. "I need you to make love to me. I need you to use me. Show me how much you love me and my body." His head feels light, breath coming out raggedly, rocking his lithe hips against Techno's torso for some form of friction. 

Remember to breathe.

"Okay, beloved, I'll give you what you desire. Wrap your legs around me darling, I want to hold you as I make love to you. You want that too, don't you my darling beloved? You want to be held, right?" 

Dreams nods frantically, climbing up Techno's tall figure and clutching onto him as he clasped his thighs around Techno's torso, squeezing them brutally tight, almost as if he were afraid to let go. Techno would never let him go. Not when he finally had him where he wanted him.

Needing Techno more than Techno could ever need Dream. Relying and depending on him to stay together. His weak beloved.

"Techno-? Are you okay?"

"Hm? Yes, I'm better than okay, great even." He smiles, nuzzling his nose against Dream's collarbone, biting into his soft skin to make him match his previously unmarked thighs. All his. Forever. He'd never know how much he means to Techno. Nobody would ever understand.

"If you're sure… you're spacing like I do."

"There's no need for concern beloved, I am merely enjoying the view." He replies seductively, watching as Dream turns away flustered. Good. He just needs the broken blonde to feel good. To stick together with Techno acting as his glue. That way he can be broken down properly later. 

"O-okay…?" Dream mutters skeptically, hips jolting as Techno gropes at his ass to hold him up with one hand. The other is held up to his mouth, pressing against his reddened lips, hooking inside his mouth when Dream lets his lips part. "You're going to need prep, beloved, I don't want to ruin your beautiful body." 

'Not yet at least' a voice chimes in, far louder than the usual.

'Just admit you want to see him broken.' Another voice echoes, smug in its presence being so loud.

'You're just a filthy liar! Lying to this poor man, you truly have no mercy. Delicious.'

He ignores their mocking exclamations in favor of brushing his lips across Dream's warm forehead, snaking his saliva covered fingers under Dream's bottom, probing at his hole testingly. "Is this okay, beloved?"

Dream squeaks out a "yes, more than okay", dragging his nails down Techno's clothed back. Good gods he felt so good. So complete for once. It was addicting. He could easily become obsessed with drowning in this.

Is this what love felt like? Intoxication? Was it meant to overwhelm the senses so completely…?

Techno presses a slicked finger into Dream's hole, curling it slowly as Dream's body is wracked with uncontrollable shudders, bottom half wriggling in discomfort.

He'll be okay. He just needs to adjust and it'll get better.

"Beloved…?" Techno whispers, wild strawberry locks encasing them both in a curtain of bubblegum pink.

Dream loves it all. The soft feel of Techno's velveteen locks against his skin, the ache of pain in his bottom half, the emotional stimulation- it drives him fucking wild. 

"Keep going." He barks firmly, his loving gaze sparked with a determined fire. The need for more. To soak it all in. To have it all for once. To be a perfect picture with his dearly devoted.

"Alright beloved, just let me know if you need to take a break or stop all together…" the pinkette mutters, a satisfied grin hidden by the layers of self-control. Not yet. He must not know yet.

Techno pushes another finger in, curling upward and tugging harshly to pull a whimpered shout out of the blonde, smirking wildly when the other mewls in pain and pleasure, eyes shutting blissfully as he enjoyed the delightful wave of bliss that masochism provides when a person is in pain.

The pinkette spreads fingers apart, eliciting an alluring keen out of the blonde. "Do you enjoy it when I bring you pain beloved? Do you like the thought of me splitting you apart right here? Want me to spread you wide and make love to your little hole raw until you can't scream anymore?" The pinkette accentuates his empty threats with a sharp curve upwards, the blonde twitching wildly. 

Ah. So that's what he needs. It's clicked for him.

"I bet you would enjoy that, wouldn't you my beloved? You don't know what to do with yourself unless you're being used in some capacity. Is that how you experience love? Is this how you validate yourself? By how useful you are to the ones who do so much for you already?" Techno hummed into Dream's ear, head tilting downwards to nibble and bite at the blonde's neck, creating blooming red marks against the already purpled bruises present.

"Yes! Please, Techno, just use me already! It's all I know!" The blonde is reduced to tears once more, puffy eyes downcast. Pathetic. 

Dream is wailing as the pinkette adds another finger, nails frantically scratching into the fabric of Techno's weddington blouse. It's linen under his desperate fingers, shredding through easily and pressing into the pinkette's back. 

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Just breathe Dream.

"Beloved. You need to calm down. You're spiralling." Techno points out, dragging his fingers out of Dream quickly.

"I know!" Dream shrieks hysterically, sliding down Techno's waist as he becomes limp.

"Beloved we can stop-" "nO!" 

Techno jerks back, surveying the shaken man before him carefully. He's not okay. But he'd likely go wild if Techno didn't continue. He's gone so long without what he needs.  
It takes his breath away, even when so undomesticated, how graceful the speedrunner remains. His brave little darling. Willing to go to whatever lengths he can to finally grasp what is rightfully his. 

"Alright little love… I continue, but please, don't push yourself if you're just trying to please me."

The blonde merely nods jerkily, grinding against the other quickly. "Please please please- Techno, just fuck me!" the broken man snarls, yanking at Techno's pants haphazardly. He was far past the point of caring.

The pinkette jumps slightly at the aggression he had only ever seen in manhunts and times where the Blonde ended up cornered by others. 

Was the blonde feeling pressed into a corner?

"Alright alright," Techno pulls him back up, positioning himself Dream directly over his dick. "I said you would need prep, so don't blame me if this burns" he sinks the other down, letting out a low groan at the way Dream tenses up around him, rocking his hips upward. 

Yet the blonde remains silent.

"Beloved. If you aren't getting anything from this we will not continue. I refuse to put you through pain. I hate to see you like this…"

'Liarrrrrr~!'

'How long will you keep your true intentions from him?'

'He'd look so pretty split open…'

Techno shakes his head, hugging Dream closely. The voices could fuck off for now. He's not the blood god at this moment, instead, a friend the other needs. "Little love?"

Dream looks up and Techno, smiles lovingly at Techno, and brings a hand to cup his scarred cheeks just like earlier. He tilts his head, smiling sweetly and laughing aloud. Techno raises a brow questioningly, gently pulling Dream up and down.

"What?" He inquires amusedly, setting to work to press into Dream quick and deep, eyes appreciatively taking in the smiling blonde's happy daze.

"You're so fucking beautiful, like, Adonis would be so jealous of you. How did I get so lucky? What have I done to deserve this?" His lips quivers as emerald eyes well up once more. "What did I do to catch you?"

The pinkette hums in thought, letting the blonde speedrunner cock warm as he thought it through. He couldn't just admit his fascination with the man, now could he? From what Techno has experienced and witnessed, he's the closest one to Techno's level. The only one who had ever presented a challenge. And that was when he was at his lowest point. 

Techno wants to break him down and build him back up, to keep him forever. Never let the other go, no matter how much he begs. He'd eventually learn it would be what is best- though, he probably wouldn't hesitate to take it all. Conveniently he already has an unhealthy obsession with the image Techno had created. Now to get him to love him wholly. 

Maybe they're both a little fucked up, but in the end, who isn't?


	2. Avoiding your problems 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream wants to stay away, but the voice in his head is loud and Techno is sweet. Maybe he can cave just this once?

A dreary voice rumbles out, silky hands brushing back sweaty locks of hair. Soft. Caring. Yet, he cannot. It is deceptively soft. Bittersweet.

'Dream… you need to wake up. Wake up Dream. Open your eyes. Look at me.' They moan out, fingers digging against his scalp painfully. It hurts. He almost wants to open his eyes. But he won't, he knows better. He knows it will only hurt more. If he does, he'll regret it.

'Dream~! Darling, I know you can hear me. Why would you ignore your sweetheart? You still love me, don't you? What am I saying… of course you do. You're desperate for just a little bit of love. You'd cling to a mere memory for some sense of security.' The voice taunts coldly, hand coming up to squeeze at his throat, thumb pushing against his air pipe.

'You are truly pathetic Dreamie, so fucking weak. So breakable, frail in my hands. And yet you love it. You take all of it, the only thing you know how to do is be a toy that can be taken apart and put back together again, isn't it?' They sneer mockingly at the end, fingers wrapping around the sides of his neck and press down.

The blonde is left to claw desperately, legs kicking out but reaching nothing. He can't get free. He's stuck, helpless as always. Unable to breathe, the blood rushing in his ears noisily. But he won't open his eyes, he knows better. He doesn't want the nightmare to start again, doesn't want to continue the horrid cycle. 

The voice cackles sadistically against his ear, loosening and tightening their spindly freezing fingers over his air pipe repeatedly. They're enjoying his misery as if it were a sitcom show, or even a puppet theatre. But in the end, is that not what he always was? A puppet for other's desires to be acted out by him?

'Oh Dream…' they coo in a mocking tone, chaste lips pressing against his cheek. They pause, moving their lips next to his ear, breath puffing over his ear as their lips pull in to an obvious grin.

'Better wake up before you forget how.'

His body seizes up, legs springing him upward as he flings himself up in bed, panting hard. Searching hands fist at linen sheets, curling inward harshly as he took in his surroundings almost reluctantly, emerald eyes searching the plain bedroom before him with an alarmed stare. Nothing but a dresser with a tv on it against the wall. A wardrobe to the side. A full-length mirror for makeup and bodily make-overs. A window filtering in sunlight- nothing standing over him though. 

He's okay. There's nobody here but him...he's just in one of the office's extra rooms for guests. Techno must have carried him up here after last night.

He can't help but shakily laugh at that, hands coming to rub his face in exasperation as he took a deeply needed exhale. He could breathe. It was just a nightmare. How silly of him to believe it was real. Foolish as always.

At the thought of Techno, his face burned, cheeks undoubtedly turning to a rosy red hue. The mere thought of the carnal behaviours they had demonstrated last night would make any person flustered, they had become animalistic. Specifically Dream, who can vaguely remember tearing his fingernails into Techno's back whenever he begged for more. 

How embarrassing for him. He'd never be able to recover from the second-hand embarrassment.

"Agh fuck… gotta...get going." He groans out, pressing himself upward, arms aching painfully as they nearly gave way with pressure. His entire body felt like gelatin underneath barely any pressure, and he curses himself for letting things go so far. 

"Mhm. I got this." He reaches for the phone on the nightstand beside the bed, index finger pressing his fingerprint into his phone to unlock it quickly so he can check the time. 

"It's only 7:30 am?" He hums out a small sound of confusion, lidded eyes turning to the patch of yellow sunlight that had been filtered into the room. "That's so early… my sleep schedule is gonna be so fucked." He murmurs in annoyance, slinging his legs over across the bed, planting them floor. He dreads getting up. He knows he'll likely fall. But he needs to get back home. 

'Might have to avoid all future episodes with...Techno.' He presses himself up, shakily standing on feeble legs. He needs to find his clothes and bag, then get out. Go back home. He shouldn't be here in the first place- he'll need to tell Tommy he won't be available for the next few months. That should cover the time Techno remains in town. He was known to travel around, searching for competitions in his spare time. It would be easy to avoid the already busy piglin Hybrid.

Good. He doesn't think he could face him even if he wanted. 

He finds his bag in the corner by the body-length mirror, the thing stuffed with his other set of extra clothes. 

He risks taking a quick glance in the mirror before grabbing his bag, and gasps in shock when he catches sight of his neck and legs, eyes widening when he takes in the sight before him.

His entire neck was riddled with bitemarks and bruises, shallow divots left behind by sharp tusks. Splotches of purple, red, and black decorated his body, splashed about randomly. His neck and thighs had definitely been the hot point though, scratches decorating and drawn across sore bruises all around. He looked like a fucking wreck, a damn near murder case. A ring of purple was wrapped around his neck like a choker, blueish tinges dotted about. 

He hadn't looked this bad since- well, ever. He can't say in good conscience that he has ever looked this fucked up. He looked almost beaten, the tired puffy bags below his eyes making it look as if he had been crying all night. Ew.

"What the actual fuck." He whispers to himself in utter disbelief, hastily spilling the contents of his bag, sliding on his clothes quickly despite the traitorous tremors going through his body. He just needs to get dressed and get the fuck out to his car. He looked like a mess of bruises and bites, no amount of cosmetics or cover-ups would do him justice to hide his shame.

'Such an easy whore…' the sleepy voice from earlier murmurs in earnest, voice carrying a venomous undertone. 'You let yourself be used and tossed aside, remaining content with your role as a puppet for everyone's desires. You knew he didn't actually care. Yet you let yourself get hopeful.'

He can't help but frown at that, buttoning up his pants while he thought it through. He hadn't let himself get hopeful. He had been well aware that it was only a night to satiate desires between two adults. One of the rare times he would divulge himself to others and indulge his own desires. 

He may have broken down and let himself be far more vulnerable than he liked, but that couldn't be helped. The other had caught him in one of his more pathetic moods, knew all the words to get him to crack. 

And yet he doesn't regret it. The release had felt far too good for him to experience any despair at letting another in, if only just for a night. Probably all that he could allow himself anyways.

He doesn't really want to think about letting himself be that selfish everyday. He could never inflict that on another soul.

Picking up his porcelain mask from the nightstand, he adjusts it over his face, calm exhaling as he readies himself for the day. 

Just breathe, Dream.

____________________________________

He'd managed to make his way to the front of the building, avoiding the lit up kitchens carefully. 

He knows Techno is in there, likely making breakfast for himself- but Dream can't seem to find it in himself to face the other. Not even to say goodbye. Expected, at the very least. He was spineless when it came to confrontation. And he had accepted that a long time ago.

'Alright, get home, call Tommy about a halt in my presence for future videos for a few months, give myself a breather, and maybe watch some mutuals videos.' He clicks the office front door behind him, hearing the lock click back in place. He's out now. He's home-free. 

So why did his chest ache so badly?

'You're a coward' the voice slurs with malice, laughing shortly after as it let its suffocating tendrils pressing against his throat for a few seconds once more.

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! God damn it Dream, pull it the fuck together! You're better than this." He growls to himself irritatedly, reaching his soft palms up to smooth over his throat delicately. Nothing there. Obviously. It's just him and his thoughts.

"Maybe I should pick up something to drink on my way home, I'd fare better with lower inhibitions… I can't handle sobriety right now." He utters into the silence, a knuckle white grip at his steering wheel.

Without another thought, he pulls out of the office parking lot, oblivious to the infatuated crimson gaze watching him from the tinted entrance windows.

Akin to a predator stalking its prey, it remained calculative, hungry, and downright bone-chilling. 

Maybe it was better this way, him remaining ignorant. The less he knows, the better for his already crumpled sanity. Blissful ignorance would be a blessing in disguise.

If only he could stay that way forever.

____________________________________

Patches lightly kneaded against his knee, prancing her little paws all over his legs as he leaned back in his gaming chair, aimlessly scrolling through youtube. It wasn't an unusual past time for the tired man, but it was rather boring, when you waste hours away watching everyone's uploads, and then have nothing to do. 

He was lost. Mind seemingly stuck in an ongoing fritz that made his thoughts all fuzzy, and his vision blurred. He wasn't quite all there, the world around him was static. White noise played in the back of his head, and the world was falling beneath him with every step he took. It hurts to b r e a t h e. 

He can't ground himself anymore. So he's drifting. He wants to call for help. But what was he meant to do-?

He can't burden anybody furthermore. He can't- can't can't can't!!! Why must he be so needy!?

'Because you're a snivelling human' the voice chimes with a chuckle, laughing at Dream's inner turmoil. Oh joy.

Dream sighs, laying his cheek against the cool glass of his whiskey bottle, tongue circling against the top of the bottle, face remaining lugubrious.

He finds himself missing Technoblade's false loving touches, yearns for them. He felt like a man deprived- thirsting for something to quench his insatiable needs.

"Mhm…" he hums in melancholy, pressing his face between his hands. "God I'm hopeless" he wheezes, tilting his head backward. "I don't- I can't even love someone I don't know! But I'm already a mess without him!" He laughs, Patches leaping away and sassily walking out the room shortly after.

"Well it's not like I-" his phone goes off next to him, Phil's discord icon lighting up the room in a blue glow. 

Strange. It seems to be a personal call- Phil never did that. Always preferred to get Dream to talk with the group chat. He knows how Dream is- he can't handle facing his feelings head-on. So like the fatherly figure he is, he helped Dream adjust to a social setting with people he trusts and loves.

Dm calls were only reserved for serious one-on-one discussions. 

It unnerved him to no end.

Shakily picking up his phone, he thumbed at the accept call button and placed it on speaker, cradling it in his hand as he hears a "hello?" On the other end.

"Heya Phil… What's up?" He inquires, biting at his lip anxiously while he waits for the elder to get to whatever he needs to know. 

"Hey mate! Techno called me and told me you both stayed at the office last night, said you took off without saying goodbye though? Is everything all right bud? Did anything happen between you two? ...Did you have another breakdown?" 

Dream blushes, the events of last night swirling in his muddled mind like a seductive concoction. Focus. Breathe. Phil needs answers. "No…" He murmurs quietly, not quite wanting to explain the events of last night. He doesn't think he could if he wanted to.

"I uhm- well. We ended up talking a bit before heading to our own respective rooms. I needed to get home to Patches though, I can't ask the neighbours to attend to her every few hours, now can I?" The lie is heavy on his tongue, but it is a necessary evil. How would one even go about explaining that they banged their friend while having a breakdown and had a relapse because of the stress that came after-? Dream sure as hell doesn't know, neither does he want to attempt it. 

"Oh, is that really it?" The other seems suspicious, knowing that prying is often necessary with Dream. 

Dream loves and hates that they know him so well.

"Yeah! I uh- I don't think we fit quite well, you know? I'm loud and bombastic around people- and your friend is pretty quiet and collected! Guess the whole "opposites attract" thing doesn't apply this time." Dream says, tongue darting out and licking at his lips nervously. He had never been the best at lying.

"Mhm. Well if you say so, mate. You left your hoodie in the locker, and I know how important it is to you. You two might not mash well- surprising as it is- but Techno offered to drop it off for you. It's okay if I give him your address, right?" The Aussie questions, concern blatant in his tone. Phil is too good for this world. 

He doesn't want to disappoint him.

"I- yeah that works! I could pick it up if it's too much trouble though-" 

"Nahhhh mate, Techno's got nothing to do and wants to get out, and this is the only thing Tommy will let him leave for. He doesn't want him to take off yet. I'm surprised Techno decided to even stay this long-" the aussie continues to speak, but Dream can't hear him. All he can feel is the pounding in his head and the clawing feeling in his chest. 

He hadn't thought he would need to be facing the other so soon- he had been content with the idea of the other leaving town once he realized Dream didn't (more like couldn't) want to face him or talk to him afterward. 

He wasn't expecting the other to want to go out of his way to deliver Dream's hoodie- even if he was just a scapegoat to escape Tommy. 

Right. Phil is still here.

Sucking in a breath, Dream smiles and gives a quiet "Okay. When will he be by?" 

"Well- however long of a car drive. He's been itching to get out all day." 

"Oh. Well- alright Phil! Let him know I'll see him soon, and thank him for bothering to actually come all this way!"

"Alright mate… make sure to take care! Bye"

The sound of Phil leaving the call and leaving Dream to bask in his own musings is ever so loud, leaving Dream to silently listen to the slosh of his personal poison in its bottle. 

He can't help but wince as he shifts to move from his chair, his body tingling from the soreness from the night before mixed with the alcoholic buzz. 

He'd need to shower. Maybe use some concealer on the more obvious of bruises- he still has some from his time doing manhunts, thankfully. He doesn't think he'd be able to pull himself down the street to the Sephora right now.

He stretches, pulling a pair of folded pajamas from his closet. 

If he's going to be forced to interact, he may as well do it in comfort clothes. Nice and soft. It stuck against his skin in all the right ways. It felt like a constant hug, the smell of lavender practically clung to the pajamas. It soothed him from the nightmares most nights, keeping his breathing calm. He really liked the lavender. 

"Mhm… What to say, what to say?" He repeats to himself, clutching at the silken articles of clothing. The texture of faux-silk under his fingers keeping him grounded to reality. 

"Maybe I can pretend to be in the shower when he gets here, and then he can just leave it by the door. Or pretend I passed out-? Phil would probably explain how tired I get- he doesn't have to know. I don't have to explain anything. It was one night of vulnerability, not a… not a dedication. 

Technoblade was speaking things that were completely spot on last night, so he should know, people like Dream- they don't let themselves have happy endings. They remain far too self-destructive, but he's okay with that. Better to be self destructive than to be a selfish narcissist. 

While sliding his button up silken pajamas, he shudders at the thought, physically wincing at the mere idea of being anywhere near the image of a cocky bastard of a man.

He's bad enough as it is. Any worse and he would likely be unable to live with himself.

'But those are darker thoughts left for other days.' He reminds himself while sliding on his pajama shorts, pulling at their drawstrings to fit his slim figure. 

'Remember to breathe, little one' the voice jeers, laughing at him once more.

'I will, thanks' he snarks back, an irritated edge in his voice.

He can breathe. He can do this. 

Just breathe.

____________________________________

He's watching some mindless marketing ad on youtube with his phone when the doorbell goes off loudly, the ring bouncing around the open house for a few seconds to inform him of a guest's (Techno's) arrival.

A part of him really wants to keep to his original plan from earlier, and ignore him until he goes away. Ignore his problems. Bury them away and never have to face them again. Techno had let him be weak. He couldn't afford to be weak. He had built a norm, his walls would remain up. 

But something pushes him to get up, glide down the hall, and open the door to face the piglin hybrid. He looks upward, breath hitching as the hybrid's crimson gaze catches him in his deep depths once more. 

"Pretty." He can't help but breathe out, the hybrid's firm gaze softening when he notices how Dream sags against his door.

"Thanks… Dream." The name sounds heavy on his tongue, almost wrong compared to the gentle whispers of "beloved, my dear beloved" from last night. Dream doesn't correct him though.

He clears his throat, tugging at his pajama sleeves. "You're welcome. Now uh- you're here to drop off my hoodie right? That's what Phil said, at least. Said you needed to use it as an excuse to leave the house." 

Techno frowns at him, nodding before pulling it from his bag. "I hope you don't mind, I put in the wash with my clothes. I figured you'd like it back clean- it being part of your signature look and all." He gently holds it out, fingers brushing along Dream's outstretched hand softly. They felt longing, reminiscent of the passion from last night. 

Dream itched to reciprocate, but he doesn't let himself. He would not let his greed be his downfall.

Instead, he rests his masked face against his hoodie, breathing in the heady scent of Techno. It's intoxicating, and he nearly loses himself once more.

"Dream?"

"Yeah…?"

"We need to talk." Techno states sharply, stepping closer.

"There's nothing to talk about Techno. What happened last night was a one time thing." Dream voices quietly, eyes downcast as to avoid Techno's disappointment. His anger.

Dream knows what he did might have been seen as "leading him on'', but honestly, Techno should have known better. He should have known that Dream was too broken for anything close to a romantic commitment.

"But there is. You're trying to push me out again, I don't intend to let you." The other responds, arms crossing as their owner carried a look of vexation. "You don't get to just leave me after one night like that. How could you be so cruel to the both of us like that?"

Dream's lips turn into a frown, fingers bunching at his hoodie fabric distractedly. "I… Techno, you should know people like me don't do relationships. I don't even love myself, so how could I properly love a partner? Expecting anymore of me would be futile." The blonde bites his lip, subtly taking a quick glance at the irritated pinkette. He looked pissed. 

"Cut the crap Dream. I know you've thought this through. You're scared. You don't want to break the stable little shell you've created. You don't want to hurt anyone. So you stay content and complicit with hurting yourself- but guess what Dream? I'm not falling for you bullshit excuses." The piglin hybrid steps forward, crowding the blonde back into his house without much trouble. 

"Why can't you just be content with last night Techno, we benefited each other then because of the unspoken no strings attached, I can't love you the way you need me t-" Dream is cut off by Techno pressing his lips against his forehead, hands tenderly cupping his cheeks. 

"It's okay. You'll learn to love me with time." Dream hears the taller murmur with muted passion, large hands circling around Dream's lithe figure. "You'll see, beloved" he chuckles eerily, voice carrying a sinister inflection.

Dream backs down his hallway, edging towards his bedroom. "No Techno- I can't- I'm sorry this hurts you so much but I…

"My little love, my sweet day Dream… you still don't get it." Techno waltzes down the hall haphazardly, tall figure following after Dream with little worry. "It was never meant to be a quick release. You would never be just a hole for me to use, beloved. I want everything about you. Your pretty little body, your strategic mind, and your beautiful soul."

Techno outstretches his hands, curling a finger forward. "Now come here Dream, and let me hold you like you need. I'll let you be weak my beautiful day Dream. I can be everything you need, and you know this." He coos out, smiling at Dream like he was a cornered animal. 

"You must be tired, right? It's been a long day of worrying how to avoid all of your problems. But now I'm here. And you don't have to think about it." 

Dream can't help but be unnerved, back into his room and slamming his door. "Go away. I don't need anyone to baby me. I'm not a fragile doll that needs your help Techno. Just because I let you touch me yesterday doesn't mean I would today. You came here to give me my hoodie, you did so. Now leave or I'll call Phil to come pick you up." Dream hisses out, crumpling to his bed weakly. 

The man on the other side of the door sighs, humming to himself in slight dismay. He had hoped his little Dreamer would make this easier on the both of them.

Had he not felt the addiction of last night? 

The voices had their own opinions.

'Yandere Techno Pog?!?!?'

'L, you're scaring him nerd!!!'

'He's kinda cute when he's scared… scaredy Dream~!'

'Rainbow chat???'

'Can't he just break down the door???'

'Dream is clearly not in the right mental state. It is unfair to put him through this but at the same time I can't help but enjoy the tantalizing call of angst material! Ah the fallacy of writers!'

Techno chuckles, knocking rhythmically. "Open the door Dream, and come here. I'm not asking anymore."

"And what shall you do if I were to say no?"

"It is not beyond me to break down the door."

Techno hears faint shuffling and a few clicks before the door is slung open, the shorter looking up at him cooly. "What?"

Techno holds his arms out again, smiling cheekily. "Give me a hug Dream."Dream tilts his head in confusion, seemingly thinking it through.

One on hand, hugging Techno would make him quit whatever the hell this creepy act is. On the other hand, Dream doesn't just want to be completely obedient and roll over. "No. If you want a hug, you can hug me yourself." He decides pettily, crossing his arms.

Techno only smiles wider at that, wrapping himself around Dream's smaller frame. Dream can't help but melt at the touch once more, unconsciously leaning into Techno's warm touch. "See, was that so hard? Don't you see how touch starved you are? You want to be held. I am willing to give everything you want and need if you fall into me, little Dreamer."

Dream knows he should say no. Should shove Techno out the door, call Phil, and avoid his pvp idol for the rest of his life- but he can't. The other is right. He needs this. 

The voice hadn't spoken at all during the time Techno had been here. He was wanted by someone. They wanted to treasure him. 

It's all he could need…

"Okay.

After all, he'll be okay as long he can breathe... Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man Idek- I might delete this and do a different chapter later. Enjoy it for what it is ig.


End file.
